Primary - Poison (feat. E-Sens Of Supreme Team) | Текст песни

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• Primary
• Poison (feat. E-Sens Of Supreme Team)

as time passes, dust coats my memories

as time passes, poison builds up in my body

this thirst for freedom grows steadily stronger these past days

though i am split in two, with half of me dead.

it’s not something you see with your eyes, but i believed it

was there, definitely felt it dragging me forward.

i remember the beginning –

i must cut off this corrosive poison inside me

to hold on to the things i am losing.

up until this moment, in my long journey –

with clenched fists,

back when having faith meant everything –

i mocked those who were frightened and weary

when on the flip side, they frightened me

because i thought that inevitably

there’s nothing i can do to prevent me from becoming one of them.

so i faced reality head-first –

reality that says, “even when you want to run, stay seated – be complacent.”

many times over, it lied like this to you and me.

my mind, clouded by a cigarette-smoke haze,

hid behind these words – “you’ll understand when you grow up” –

when it is nothing but an illusion. older doesn’t mean wiser.

complacency ties you down like a dog on a leash;

this was all i knew how to live by

and the fear of gathering courage is as great as meeting other people’s eyes.

i got sick of this – i told them to piss off;

i followed my own faith, and it took me

home, to a place that will make me whole.

when my chance comes,

because you were the one who casted aside your dreams

and turned yourself into an empty shell –

laugh at me all you want.

you pretend to worry about me when you are just hiding behind your own failures.

if you are afraid of getting hurt, then sit the hell out –

it’s common sense.

this world uses cowardice as medicine

but unlike you, i carry these scars

in solidarity with those of us who overcame our suffering – to them i give my respect, my blessing.

i once fell into a deep pit –

i pretended nothing was wrong in front of family and friends;

my arrogance and self-disgust mixed together

to the point i hated to look at my eyes in the mirror.

drained of my passions

and seeing the things i despised more than anyone else

become part of my work – i felt like i was dying.

i couldn’t feel anything clearly;

though i saw my twisted self,

i couldn’t destroy it.

even if i could throw everything i have

somewhere far away –

it felt like a waste of effort.

in my search for respite

i frantically overturned everything like a madman –

peace was ever elusive.

i raised my voice to silence my crippling anxiety,

angrily prattling my prideful boasts

and wandering in dizzying circles

until i couldn’t tell who was by my side.

i don’t believe in god, but

i can’t belief in my broken self either.

for a long time, i couldn’t grasp at any answer.

a feverish sickness seeped deep into my conscious –

no matter how long i slept at night, i woke up exhausted in the morning.

a crushing sense of restlessness and oppression destroyed my childish optimism;

lather, traps, and opportunities replaced by harsh temptations –

in the midst of all this, i must return to the beginning

to hold on to the things i am losing.

in the rush to keep up with everyone else

i gradually forgot who i am

in the rush to keep up with everyone else

i gradually forgot who i am

if you must stop, stop now –

you lose too many precious things otherwise

in the rush to keep up with everyone else

i gradually forgot who i am